It Could be Worse (No, Not Really)
What a day! I was stuck in traffic, and was late for my hair appointment—that is a joke, because those of who know me, know that I am bald, but I actually was stuck in traffic. My WIFI went out, the laundry machine broke! Oh, and my accountant just let me know that I owe a bunch more money to the IRS. These things happened. They are annoying. They are not, however, evidence that the universe has singled me out for destruction, well perhaps partial destruction!
There is something in my brain telling me that all of these things or events are really bad. In turn, my body and the neurotransmitters I produce respond the same way as if I were on a hike, and suddenly see a bear running in my direction. Unfortunately, my brain can’t tell the difference between a simple problem like the WIFI going out, and a bear chasing me in the woods—-WTF! I know, it does not make intuitive sense that our bodies still react in the same manner.
The good news is, this is not a character flaw—although trust me, I have others! It’s just how my brain, and your brain works. Our brains are drama majors, every single one of them.
Mindfulness is essentially the adult in the room saying, okay, let’s all just calm down. Not because nothing matters, but because not everything deserves the level of panic you’re currently auditioning for.
It’s so simple, that you can totally manage any situation, now that you grasp this really basic concept. Well it seems like it should be easy, but life, and how we have trained ourselves to react to it, tend to get in the way.
Mindfulness doesn’t ask you to pretend everything is fine. It asks you to stop adding suffering on top of suffering. The traffic is the traffic. The dishwasher is the dishwasher. The anxiety we layer on top of those things? That part is totally optional.
When you actually pause and take— one breath, just one — you often find that what felt like the worst possible outcome is really just… a somewhat minor inconvenience. And statistically, this inconvenience will be followed by others.
Life contains suffering. It also contains good coffee, flowers on the kitchen table (I get them every week), unexpected kindness, and my dog Logan, who is always unreasonably happy to see me.
The bad stuff is real, but that is rarely the whole story. The whole story is what you and your brain make of it. It is just something to think about, so just take a breath, and ask yourself, “could it be worse?”
Cheers!
Marty